A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

Get Out of the Box
"Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” Jeremiah 32:17 (NIV)

“Out of the box” has become a popular catch phrase, including “thinking outside of the box.”

The term derives from a famous puzzle created by early 20th century British mathematician Henry Ernest Dudeney. The puzzle, consisting of nine dots in a three-by-three grid, challenges those who try to interconnect the dots by using four straight lines without the pencil leaving the paper. In order to be successful, the puzzle solver has to realize that the boundaries of the dot array are psychological. The only way to solve the puzzle is to extend the lines beyond the artificial boundary created by the nine dots.

After my relocation several months ago, I asked a friend to help me decorate my house. I like her taste in décor because it is similar to mine and because she has artfully arranged her own possessions. Melissa has a talent for rearranging, reorganizing and redecorating using the items on hand. A nationally syndicated television program calls it “Design-on-a-Dime.” I call it saving money.

As Melissa went from room to room in my home, she studied what I had available in my collection of photos, artwork, knick-knacks and other décor. After placing various items on the floor, she arranged them in different ways to get the most appealing results. I had given her carte blanche to do as she pleased with my things.

When we finally finished—six hours later—I was amazed at the transformation she had made with my collections and keepsakes. I was also surprised by the everyday ordinary items she used as substitutes to achieve the desired results. Simply amazing.

God’s like that too. He can take everyday ordinary people and use them to achieve His desired results. However, we have to be willing to allow Him to transform us so that He can use us for His purposes. That means we have to get out of our boxes.

When asked to speak at a women’s retreat this fall, I agreed to do a small group session. The request came from a woman who belongs to a different denomination than mine. She said, “Carol, you will be a first for our church.”

When I asked her what she meant, she replied, “You will be the first one outside of our denomination to speak at our retreat.”

Without thinking whether I was stepping on toes, I replied, “God doesn’t care whether you are a Methodist or a Baptist. He just wants to have a relationship with us.”

She replied, “You’re right, Carol. We need to get outside of our box.”

We need to realize that we can’t put people in a box anymore than we can put God in a box. He can do anything. So can we—with His help.

Another definition for “out of the box” comes from the Australian slang for remarkable or exceptional. When we get out of our boxes, God can do remarkable things through us. Are you stepping outside your box?

Check out A MATTER OF FAITH website at www.carolaround.com.

A Matter of Faith

By Carol Round
The Road to Success

“Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8 (NIV)

For 30 years, I was an Oklahoma public school teacher. Since my retirement two years ago, I have come to realize why I stayed for three decades—for the teenagers who shared their joys and sorrows and allowed me to become a part of their lives.

I became eligible for retirement at the end of 2004, which meant leaving in the middle of the school year. And even though you won’t find “retirement” mentioned in the Bible, I was ready to retire. I felt that after 30 years I was being led on a different path.

However, as the deadline approached to submit the necessary paperwork, I hesitated. I didn’t have the inner peace that comes when one knows that it is the right thing to do. One morning, I lifted up my concerns to the Lord. My simple prayer was “Heavenly Father, where can I best serve you?”

Immediately, I felt as if someone had lifted a backpack of rocks from my shoulders. My steps became lighter because I knew I didn’t have to struggle. God would show me the way.

Later that week, I had a conversation with a substitute teacher. She was a retiree, but had never substituted in the high school until that day. I mentioned my indecision about leaving at Christmas. When she replied with “Carol, you need to finish what you started,” I knew that God had provided my answer.

I started the second semester with excitement, not even counting the days until the last school bell rang. Two weeks before school ended, a student, struggling with decisions about the future, approached me with her concerns. She was lost. I understood. I had been in her shoes before I found the Lord.

During our conversation, I shared with Stephanie how God had changed me from the inside out. I also gave her a copy of “The Purpose Driven Life.” It was at that moment when I realized why God had wanted me to finish what I had started in August 1975.

My retirement check is not much but the rewards of being allowed to touch lives is something that money cannot buy. God crowns faithfulness even when the world has a different definition of success.

I like how Ralph Waldo Emerson’s defined success: “to laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded."

What is your definition of success?

Check out A MATTER OF FAITH website at www.carolaround.com.

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

When Your Crayon Breaks

“He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.”
Psalm 23:3 (NIV)

This time of year, I love walking through a department store’s school supplies section. When the shelves are fully stocked, I find myself wandering down the aisle, wishing I were going back to school. For 43 years, I did—if you count my 30 years of teaching.

I associate a school year with newness, an opportunity to start fresh. There’s nothing like opening a new box of crayons. So many different colors from which to choose, even more today than when I was a child. The paper wrapped around each slim cylinder sports names like periwinkle, burnt sienna, maize and thistle. I still favor the original colors: red, blue, yellow, green, brown, black, purple and orange.

For some unknown reason, young children like to peel the paper from the crayon stick. Recently, I observed my grandchildren as they sat quietly on the floor coloring in one of the many books I have purchased for them. My granddaughter, who is 19 months older than her brother, became upset when he started removing the wrapping from a yellow crayon.

“Stop it, Brennan,” she ordered in her best bossy big-sister voice.

Brennan just kept peeling away. After one more order from his sister to cease and desist, Brennan retaliated by snapping the crayon in two. His sister was not happy.

“Nana,” she yelled, “Brennan is breaking the crayons.”

She didn’t realize that I had been quietly observing the unfolding scene and was prepared to intervene. However, before I could respond, Brennan said, “I’m sorry, Hi-Anne.”

His two-year-old vocabulary, while very sophisticated for his age, cannot quite enunciate the syllables needed to pronounce “Cheyenne.” I watched as Brennan tried to restore the crayon to its original glory. He pushed the two pieces of yellow together, determined to make them whole again. Frustrated, he kept pushing until another piece broke off. He finally realized that it was beyond his capability to fix the crayon. Looking up at me, he said, “Nana can fix it.”

While I explained to my grandson that I could not restore the yellow crayon to wholeness, it made me realize how often in life we make a mess of things and try to fix it on our own. No matter how determined we are to fix something that is broken, especially relationships, we cannot make them whole without help.

I know the ultimate healer of brokenness. He may not restore our crayons, but He can restore people. I remember a song from my youth. The words go something like this, “Only love can break a heart, only love can mend it again.”

When Jesus walked the earth, He spent time in healing and teaching. His motive? Love.

When we turn to the healer of broken hearts and broken lives, He can restore us. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for He is with me. His rod and His staff bring comfort.


A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round
Just Because You Go to Church

“For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God’s building.”
1Corinthinians 3:9 (NIV)

“I’m a Christian but I don’t go to church.”

That statement, made during a conversation I overheard between two women recently, grabbed my attention for two reasons: the tone of the speaker’s voice and my life experiences with religion.

Almost six years ago, when I was lost, I came to know the Lord personally as my savior. Growing up, I attended church faithfully but drifted away in my early 20s. I returned to my roots after my sons were born because I wanted them to have the same foundation of faith. However, over the next two decades, my church attendance was sporadic. My excuse? I met so many hypocrites sitting beside me in the pews that I convinced myself I didn’t need to be there. I thought I was above all of that.

I was self-righteous in my thoughts. I even made the same statement as the woman in the overheard conversation. “I’m a Christian but I don’t go to church.”

I like a statement made by one of my favorite television ministers: “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald’s makes you a French fry.”
We justify our lack of church attendance by condemning the behavior of those who do. While church attendance is not a requirement to have a relationship with the Lord, I believe that it is a necessity for our spiritual growth. Fellowship with other believers helps us along that path.
Attending church is also an act of obedience to God. In Hebrews, the writer tells us “not to forsake meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another.”
Why do some people shun church? Is it because we put on our Sunday morning faces at religious services and then live the rest of the week as if we have left God behind in the building where we worshipped. If we save our best behavior for the Sabbath, what does that say about us as Christians?

I like how my pastor defines church: “A church is not a hotel for saints. It’s a hospital for sinners.”

We all face temptation—even those who attend worship services each week. Being part of an organized fellowship encourages us in our walk with the Lord. When one of us stumbles and falls, we have our church community to help lift us up.

When I first started writing this column, I approached numerous Oklahoma newspaper editors about carrying it weekly. I received a variety of similar responses. However, I still recall one editor’s reply almost two years later.

“I really like what you have to say, but don’t you think you’re preaching to the choir?”

“Sometimes, even the choir needs a reminder,” I replied.

Attending church is an expression of our love for God. The preaching and teaching of His word increases our faith and builds us up spiritually.

A church is more than four walls. Are you a part of it?
A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com.

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

Before You Can See
“We live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)

Posted on a local business marquee is the following: “Some things you have to believe before you can see them.”

Living by faith is not easy. Even though I believe, sometimes I struggle.

A news anchor posed the following question, “Is there room for faith on the job?” That question led me to the network’s website to learn more. The story was about practicing faith at work without offending others. While I don’t want to discuss this controversial subject, I do believe that living a faith-filled life each day is the only way to live.

That Internet article led me to another website called Edge. The website creators stated their mission: We are interested in “thinking smart;” we are not interested in the anesthesiology of ‘wisdom.’ The motto of the Club is “to arrive at the edge of the world's knowledge, seek out the most complex and sophisticated minds, put them in a room together, and have them ask each other the questions they are asking themselves.”

One question posed by the group is “What Do You Believe Is True Even Though You Cannot Prove It?" Responses, submitted by scientists and other intellectuals, were many and varied. However, their mission statement is what led me to ponder the following: They are interested in “thinking smart” but are not concerned with the “anesthesiology of wisdom.”

The word anesthesia has its roots in Greek. Traditionally, it means the condition of having the feeling of pain and other sensations blocked with or without the loss of consciousness. The branch of medicine that deals with the study and application of anesthetics is anesthesiology. Wisdom is the quality or state of being wise, the knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action. Other definitions include sagacity, discernment, or insight.

Does the group’s mission exclude seeking the higher wisdom of our Lord? Do they really accept that wisdom numbs the human mind? I believe that if we don’t seek the Lord’s wisdom, our hearts become numb.

One statement at the Edge website did ring true for me: “Human nature doesn’t change much.” Man has always questioned God’s existence and there are still many doubting Thomases today.

Believe is a verb meaning “to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.”

Albert Einstein, remembered for his theory of relativity, also believed in the existence of God. He didn’t need proof. Many of his quotes allude to his belief. My favorite is “In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep."

How can we be sheep if we refuse to recognize the shepherd? Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

With child-like faith, we can live a faith-filled life.


A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round
When the Rains Come
“Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.” Deuteronomy 32:2 (NIV)

This spring, a record amount of rainfall has soaked the Midwest. In my years here, I cannot remember a wetter time. Each time I hear thunder, I think about this children’s nursery rhyme:
“It's raining, it's pouring;
The old man is snoring.
He went to bed and he bumped his head
And couldn't get up in the morning.”

During May and June, thunderstorms and drenching rains have caused widespread damage, and even a few deaths. Instead of praying for the moisture to make the crops grow, many have been pleading for it to cease.

I was at church one Saturday afternoon preparing for Bible School the following week. My two grandchildren were with me. I had given each a slice of pizza for lunch and left them sitting at a small table in the church nursery. I continued working with others, hanging decorations in anticipation of the children who would come streaming through the doors for VBS on Monday morning.

As we worked, thunder announced the arrival of another June storm and my grandchildren came screaming down the hallway. “Nana, I’m scared. The thunder is loud.”

I scooped them up in my arms and said, “You don’t need to be afraid. That’s just God talking to you.”

Of course, they were curious. “What is He saying, Nana?”

I replied, “Why He’s telling you that He’s going to send some rain.”

Like most children, their standard reply is “Why?”

“To water the flowers and the grass.”

“But why, Nana?”

“So they can grow.”

This answer seemed to satisfy my grandchildren, who consented to return to the nursery and finish their pizza. While another VBS worker and I continued hanging decorations, I would periodically check on Cheyenne and Brennan. I motioned to my co-worker to share the moment when I found the siblings, sitting side-by-side, holding hands. With their free hand, each held pizza.

This touching scene reminded me that God will bring storms into our lives. Sometimes, those storms are gully washers that threaten to sweep us off our feet and into the unknown. When that happens, we must remember that He is always there to hold our hands and see us through to the rainbow.
In the Bible, the rainbow is a symbol of the covenant between God and man, and God’s promise to Noah that He would never again flood the entire Earth. He didn’t promise us days without pain, laughter without sorrow or sun without rain. But God does promise us strength for each day, comfort for our tears and a light for our path.
While we are enduring the thunderstorms of life, God can use those times to help us grow—if we allow Him to. His word will sustain us like the rain that nurtures the flowers and plants in the fields.
What storms are you facing today? Turn to the Master of storms. He’ll see you through.
A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com.

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol RoundFinding Your Place

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6 (NIV)

I am not moving again! Unless, of course, God insists.

Because I have moved four times in the past six years, I have become quite adept at packing. My most recent move was less than five miles—from one neighborhood to another—but it still required finding boxes of different sizes to accommodate my belongings.

As I surveyed the pile of unpacked boxes containing my possessions, I sighed. “Not again, Lord,” I thought. I had downsized once before but now found myself facing another mountain of things.

Two years ago, when I moved from one town to another, I gave away, threw away, or sold stuff that I knew I could live without. During my recent move, my routine was the same—donate, toss or sell. However, I still have too much stuff.

That stuff included an Easter basket that belonged to my youngest son, now grown. My grandchildren discovered the basket during the move. Adding to the chaotic mess, the two had scattered the fake green grass and brightly colored plastic eggs from one end of my new house to the other. It was a reminder of how much I hated packing and moving.

It also triggered a memory of the way I used to pack when I was planning a trip. My girlfriends would tease me because I never traveled lightly. Prepared for any scenario, I toted more luggage and bags than Carter has liver pills. (If you haven’t heard that expression, you must be under 50.)

As each birthday passes, I realize that we go through life with too much baggage. If it’s not physical baggage, then it’s emotional baggage. We can choose, however, to unpack both kinds of baggage and lighten our loads. The first is easier than the latter.

For many years, I not only carried around too much physical baggage that hampered my life, I hung onto emotional baggage that hindered my growth. I was in my late 40s—not that long ago—before I began to unearth, examine, weed out and rid my life of those things that held me back from becoming the woman that God created me to be.

Until I let go of the past, I could not move on. When I was finally able to “unpack” all of that junk and dispose of it, I began to find my place in this world. However, I could not do it without the Lord’s help.

A friend in my new neighborhood recently commented about emotional baggage that a relative still toted after more than 30 years. She said, “I told her that she just needed to let it go and move on.”

Someday, as God’s offspring, we will move to a permanent place where we will reside eternally. No packing. No unpacking. I look forward to that final move. Do you?


A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

Monsters Under the Bed

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!" Mark 4:39-41(NIV)
As a child I was afraid of the dark.

I never knew the source of my fear or how old I was when my fear led to a nightly ritual of looking under the bed and in the closet before I would crawl beneath the covers. I still wouldn’t go to sleep without a night light to illuminate a small corner of my bedroom.

For years, my parents tried unsuccessfully to allay my fears of the dark. I remember waking at night and peeking out from under the sheets to see if any mysterious shadows were cast on the wall that was softly lit by the tiny light plugged into the outlet. With my little heart beating faster and faster, I lay petrified while the shadows became monsters the size of prehistoric animals.

Finally, when I could not contain my fear, I’d yell for my mother—sometimes at two or three in the morning—to ask for a drink of water. When my mother turned on the hall light, I could see that the monsters of my imagination were merely harmless moths or other night creatures.

I don’t remember how many years this ritual continued, but I know my mother must have had the patience of Job to get up during the nights that I called for a drink of water simply to ease a child’s fear of the dark.

As adults, we have fears of a different kind. Although we are no longer afraid of things that go bump in the night, we let other fears paralyze us and keep us from making choices—choices that could improve our lives or the lives of others.

Now, overcoming my fear of the dark seems easy compared to the apprehension I first felt when I let God lead me in a new direction several years ago. After teaching for 30 years in the same school system, I left a secure job and moved to a new community. It was faith that helped me overcome that fear of the unknown.

Fear of the unknown can keep us from taking that first step toward leaving a job and seeking another when we are unhappy or unfulfilled. Fear can stop us in our tracks when God calls us to serve Him in a different way and we don’t want to leave our comfort zone.

I like Pastor Andy Stanley’s statement about fear. “Fear,” he says, “can drive you places you never intended to go.”

Where is fear driving you? When we place our trust in the Lord, we have nothing to fear. His light will guide us from the darkness.

A Matter of Faith

By Carol RoundFather Always Provides

"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?”
Luke 11:11 (NIV)

When I was growing up in southwestern Louisiana, my father wasn’t home very often. He worked hard in the oil-field industry. His job would take him away for days, sometimes weeks, at a time, leaving my mother to do most of the child rearing.

However, when he was home, my father spent quality time with us. My sister and I never lacked for anything. We didn’t realize it at the time, but we were blessed.

Visiting with a friend recently, she commented on her deceased father, who was the pastor of a small church. He died at a young age, leaving behind his wife and five children. Because of his premature death, my friend didn’t get to know her father very well.

“However, one thing I did know is that he loved the Lord and he tried to put Him first in his life,” said my friend. “Since he was a minister, he had a love for people. He was extremely sensitive to treating everyone fairly and with dignity.”

Although my friend’s family didn’t lack for life’s necessities, she said that times were tough growing up in the 50s and they, like everyone else, struggled to make ends meet. “My dad wasn’t afraid of work. He would haul hay and wasn’t afraid to try anything.”

After her father’s death, times were even tougher. “My dad always told us that he couldn’t leave us with great riches but he could leave us a good name. I didn’t truly understand this concept until I started working out in the public and realized what an impact he had made on people’s lives with his short ministry.”

My friend’s family struggled but “God always provided,” she said, “even before we asked. It’s like the story in the Bible of the woman and her son who didn’t have enough oil and flour. God always replenished. My life has always been like that.”

Recalling how God always provided, even when they hadn’t asked, she said, “My mother hadn’t worked outside the home. After my father died, she was offered a job in the superintendent’s office because she was good in math and had beautiful handwriting.”

The family never realized they were poor. “God provided us with work to do, like babysitting and ironing, so we could help our mother after Dad died.”

As a young teen, my friend wanted to play basketball but could not afford the athletic shoes that were required for the sport. “I didn’t even ask my mother because I knew we didn’t have the money.”

One day the coach called my friend into the hall during basketball practice to ask her what size shoe she needed. “When I told him that I couldn’t afford it, he replied that someone else had paid for mine.”

My friend never learned the name of her generous benefactor but she knows that “Our Father” always provides. Do you?


A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com.

A Matter of Faith

By Carol Round

Happily Ever After

“For everything that was written in the past was
written to teach us, so that through endurance and the
encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
Romans 15:4 (NIV)

When I was growing up, I always had my nose in a book
of fiction. I loved the adventure, danger and romance
of a good story. I loved the happily ever after ending
where the sleuths solved the mystery, the handsome
prince rescued the maiden, and they married for life.

Not every story ends happily ever after. Not all
mysteries are solved. Not everyone is rescued from
danger, and in today’s society, not every handsome
prince and his maiden stay together “till death do us
part.”

When I started a Bible study in August 2006, I had
not read the Bible from cover to cover. During my
morning time with the Lord, I read passages, but I had
never attempted to read the 66-book compilation until
I started the study, which ended in May.
Maybe the sheer volume of words that this holy book
contains intimidated me. Maybe the words written by
prophets, kings, apostles and others were too much for
my human mind to comprehend until I walked with my
fellow study members through the pages one at a time.

Since going through this study, I have learned many
truths that have helped me to grow in my walk with the
Lord. Inspired by God, this book is more than history.
It is the true story of God’s love for all people. The
Bible is an account of God’s promised deliverance and
freedom for all who obey.

As I have read, studied and contemplated the words of
“the greatest story ever told,” I have gained strength
for my journey through life because this best-selling
book of all times is the believer’s instruction manual
for daily living.

God’s Word is available to you every day. The power
of those words can change lives. It is an owner’s
guide to help you handle your finances and have better
relationships. Do you need help breaking a bad habit
or addiction? Do you need an attitude change toward a
family member or friend? Do you need to learn more
patience with your children? If you need more joy and
less stress in your life, then the Word can heal.

Like a fairy tale, the Bible begins with the words
“In the beginning.” However, unlike a story of
fiction, the Bible is, described in 2 Timothy 3:16-17,
“God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking and
correcting and training in righteousness, so that the
man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good
work.”

The Bible can help you answer many questions. As you
turn the pages, you can discover where you came from,
why you are here and where you are going. More
importantly, the Bible’s lessons teach you who God is
and how you can live with Him forever.

Living forever with Him means living “happily ever
after.” It isn’t fiction. It’s the truth.

A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based
columns is now available in book form. For more
information, readers can reach her at
carolaround@yahoo.com

A Matter of Faith...

The Gift of Friendship

By Carol Round

“If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:10 (NIV)
Can you recall your first best friend? I can. Her name is Gwen.
I have not seen nor talked to Gwen in more than 30 years but I still remember her. Several months before my 16th birthday, my family relocated from Louisiana to Oklahoma, where my parents grew up. At first, I stayed in touch via snail mail. In the late 60s, hand-written letters were the common form of long-distance communication.
Times have changed but not our need for friendships. Each new chapter in my life has included new friends. As the pages turn, my life is enriched by this circle of friends.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, one friend showed up on my doorstep with a white rose of hope. Other friends drove me to pre- and post-op doctor visits.
Visiting with a friend over lunch recently, I had to laugh when she crumbled her chips into her tortilla soup. Because my friend teaches etiquette classes, I found it humorous when she explained that you really shouldn’t do that in public. However, since we are friends, she felt comfortable enough to ignore that tip.
Friends come in all shapes and sizes. Some offer their big heart. Others offer a shoulder on which to cry. Some bring sunshine and some listen to you whine. Others will speak the truth, even when it hurts. Pals will compliment us, hug us, send birthday cards, and encourage us to keep putting one foot in front of the other when we want to give up. Yet, we may only hear once a year from another friend.
I receive a Christmas card each December from my college roommate. We rarely talk on the phone. Occasionally, we e-mail each other, but each time we communicate, it seems as if it has been only a day or two since we last visited. Our relationship has lasted for more than 30 years.
Renewing old friendships that have ended on a less than pleasant note are also heart-warming. Several months ago, I had a dream about a friend with whom I had not spoken in almost two years. Our relationship had become strained due to circumstances at work. When I retired and moved to a new community, we lost touch. After my dream, I felt led by God to contact her. I picked up the phone one evening and said, “Judy, this is Carol. How are you doing?”
Our long-distance conversation was a time for catching up on each other’s lives and a time for healing. Before she hung up the phone, she said, “Carol, I think of you often and I just want to say, ‘I love you.’”
One thing we should never ignore is our need for friends. We were created for relationships. When those relationships enhance our life and help us to grow into the person that God created us to be, then we can be assured that it is truly His gift.

A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com.

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

Who Are You?
“Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God’s mercy.” 1 Peter 2:10 (NLT)

“Dead man may have been illegal”

This newspaper headline, and the story that followed, have haunted me since I read it. The story, about a man who was found dead after falling from a train, first ran when the body was discovered without any identification. The follow-up story in the local paper revealed the man’s name. According to officials, the man fit the profile of an illegal immigrant. However, none of the details had been confirmed at the time.

Two things struck me about this story. When the body was discovered, there was nothing to confirm the man’s identity. Second, at this writing, his family had not been found. Unconfirmed identity. Missing family.

Several weeks ago, our pastor’s sermon focused on 1 Peter 2:1-10. He opened his sermon with the following question: How would you describe yourself? Most of us, our pastor said, would immediately answer that question with our vocation: doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher or another profession.

Six years ago, I began struggling with an important question—who am I? I could identify myself as Carol Round, high school teacher. I could also identify with the following: wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt and friend.

However, when I was 47-years-old, my life changed dramatically. I could no longer claim the identity of wife. About the same time, my nest became empty, and although I was still a mother, and always will be, my role changed.

Three years later, I faced more changes. In the same year I became a grandmother, I also lost my mother. The following year, I retired from teaching after 30 years in the same school system. I had a major identity crisis.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw a difference in my skin and my hair color—a few more tiny wrinkles and a few more grey hairs. However, the changes I saw reflected in the mirror did not reveal my inner turmoil.

I was discussing my “identity crisis” with a friend. I said, “Who am I, Linda?” However, before she could reply, I answered my own question. “I know who I am. I am a child of God.”

What about the unidentified man who fell from the train? Where had he been? What was his destination? Did he have a family?

Authorities may never know the answer to all of these questions. However, when I learned his name, I was captivated. His first name was Jesus. This reminded me of another man named Jesus.
Jesus of Nazareth identified himself as more than a remarkable teacher or prophet. He proclaimed that He was God, making His identity the focal point of His teaching. The all-important question He put to His followers was, “Who do you say I am?”
When I began to identify myself as a child of the most high God, I was no longer lost. I know who I am and I know where I’m going. Do you?

A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com.

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

Need an Attitude Check?

“Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

I like writer Katherine Mansfield’s attitude about attitude: "Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. Life would undergo a change of appearance because we ourselves had undergone a change of attitude."

I spent many years thinking I could change others to meet my expectations. It doesn’t work. What does? A change in our own attitudes toward others.

During my 30 years as a public school teacher, I worked under different administrators. Although some of their administrative styles were compatible with my teaching philosophy, others were not. I can recall one new administrator whose ideas involved major changes. Some of the teachers, who were old-timers like me, resisted change. Our attitudes needed an adjustment. Before I began looking at things from my boss’s perspective, I allowed others’ complaining and arguing to affect my reaction.

When I began to distance myself from the pettiness, I saw things from a different viewpoint. My attitude check allowed me to accept the changes the principal made, even if I did not agree with him. After all, he was my boss.

Complaining and arguing are negative actions that can lead to hopelessness and defeat. However, we can choose to replace the negativity with an outlook that encourages positive thoughts and actions, which will make a difference in the world.

If all we do is complain about what is wrong with the government, with an institution or another person, what have we gained? Nothing but a bitter taste in our mouths and an angry heart. I know because I have been there. However, when we choose an attitude of gratitude, we can take necessary steps toward improvement.

In my Bible study class, we were discussing ways we could become better disciples for Christ. One of the participants commented on a co-worker’s attitude. Without thinking, I asked, “Have you prayed for him?”

He replied, “Yes.”

In the past, my poor attitude toward co-workers, whom I allowed to push my buttons, would not have led to prayers for him or her. Instead, I complained. When I came to the realization that I needed a change of perspective, life was more pleasant.

Our attitude toward others affects everything we say, do and feel. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to go through life miserable because I have allowed others to control me with their words and actions.

In the past, a traffic incident involving an angry driver honking his horn, might have set me off and ruined my morning. Not anymore. I smile and wave, leaving the other driver baffled with my response. I feel better and hope that my reaction improves his attitude.

A change in attitude requires a change of heart. I have found that there is only one way to achieve a lasting change and that is through a personal relationship with the Lord.

Do you need an attitude adjustment? Ask the Lord to help you keep your attitude in check today.

A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com.

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

A Mother’s Love

“Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.’” Luke 2:34-35 (NIV)
She is the most well-known mother in history. She gave birth to God’s son, raised Him and then saw Him sacrificed for our iniquities. As Simeon had predicted, her own soul was pierced.
Mary knew that her son was different. She had been prepared, even before His birth. But was she ready for the blood that would flow when His body was spiked with nails?
As a mother, I don’t think any of us are ever prepared for what God has in store for our children. When we first hold our newborn, we anxiously count the toes and fingers. One…two…three…four…five. Yes, there are five at the end of each limb. Praise God that my child is whole!
What if your child is physically or mentally disabled? What if God has something else planned for your child? What if your child’s disabilities are part of God’s perfect blueprint? Can you accept that His will for your offspring is greater than you could ever imagine?
I’m sure the mother of Mattie Stepanek could never conceive what God had in store for him. In 2004, Mattie, who battled a rare form of muscular dystrophy, died three weeks before his fourteenth birthday. Mattie spent most of his life in a wheelchair and on a ventilator. However, before his short life ended, Mattie had published eight books of poetry that bring hope to the world. His writing continues to touch lives today.

A friend, whose daughter had been contemplating dropping out of college for the mission field, felt that her youngest child was making a mistake. As mothers, we find it hard sometimes to accept the choices our children make. We want to encourage them to make the right ones, yet we are sometimes fearful when they step out in faith.

When my oldest son was in his teens, he became enthralled with bareback riding. Although I was not particularly excited about his choice, I encouraged him. I knew that if I didn’t, he would climb on the back of a bucking horse sooner or later. I consoled myself with the fact that at least he didn’t choose bull riding. Eventually, his desire to stay on the back of a horse that was trained to dismount him waned. However, his love for horses has not.

When a serious accident with a horse sent him to the hospital a couple of months ago, my mother’s heart was torn between begging him to stay away from horses and encouraging him in his dreams. The latter won out.

What if Mary had not supported her son’s ministry? What if she had convinced Him to forgo the cross? A mother’s love kept her at His side until the end.

A Matter of Faith...

By Carol Round

The Fingerprints of God

“O Lord God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.” Psalm 89:8 (NIV)

When I misplaced my driver’s license recently, I had to get a replacement. Notice, I said, “misplaced,” because I found the original a week after I paid for a new one.

The first time I renewed my license after I moved to a new town, I was required by law to have my fingerprints scanned. This new development in technology, in an effort to cut down on identity theft, made me realize how unique we are.

When the tag agent asked me to place my index finger on the scanner, I complied. However, the small device would not read my fingerprint. She had me try again. No luck. I thought something was wrong with me, but hoped it was the machine.

After one more attempt to scan my fingerprint, the agent handed me a tissue with instructions to wipe my fingers, which were, by now, sweating profusely. Was I nervous? A little. Why? I had nothing to hide.

On the next attempt to capture my elusive identity, either the machine decided to cooperate or my dry prints were readable. Either way, we had a hit. My fingerprint was captured electronically for my license.

Fingerprints offer a reliable means of personal identification. No two fingerprints are alike in many billions of human and automated computer comparisons. Even identical twins can be distinguished by their fingerprints.

In 1903, a man named Will West was sentenced to the U.S. Penitentiary at Leavenworth, Kansas. Authorities were confused when they discovered there was already a prisoner at the penitentiary at the time, whose fingerprint measurements were nearly the same as the new convict.

Upon investigation, experts discovered that the two men, who were named Will West and William West, looked exactly alike, but were allegedly not related. Their fingerprints were close enough to identify them as the same person. However, a fingerprint comparison quickly and correctly identified them as two different people. When prison records revealed that each had a record of correspondence with the same immediate family relatives, it was discovered that they were apparently identical twin brothers.

After my grandchildren come for a visit, I continue to find evidence of their presence for several days. Sticky fingerprints grace many surfaces throughout the house. I have to clean their peanut butter and jelly prints on chairs, the refrigerator and my glass doors.

When a child is born, the hospital fingerprints the mom and her baby for identification purposes. Looking back years later at the certificate, a parent can compare the tiny prints of their growing youngster to their much larger counterparts. However, one thing doesn’t change. The tiny whorls and ridge patterns that distinguish us from each other are as individual as snowflakes that fall each winter.

Just as each fingerprint and snowflake has unique characteristics so does our heavenly Father. When we look around, we can see His special fingerprints on everything in our lives. There is no other like Him.

A collection of Carol Round’s most popular faith-based columns is now available in book form. For more information, readers can reach her at carolaround@yahoo.com