A Matter of Faith...
By Carol Round
FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14 (NIV)
As legend goes, a now-famous feud began with a dispute over the ownership of a hog. The feud escalated and lives were lost on both sides.
The battle between the Hatfields and McCoys continued for 12 years until they agreed to disagree. But it wasn’t until June 14, 2003, that descendants of both sides signed a truce though the conflict had ended a century earlier.
Lewis B. Smedes, author and professor, once said: “If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter’s rights to our souls.”
Four months before the last of my Dad’s three brothers succumbed to cancer, I wanted my father to reconcile with him. A family dispute five years earlier had left my Dad bitter and he had refused to talk to my Uncle Joe ever since.
But my uncle was dying. I knew Dad would regret it if he did not make peace with the past. Before my uncle’s death, he and my father spent many hours together talking about their childhood among other things. They never mentioned the rift but my father was grateful for the nudge I gave him to move toward forgiveness.
Numerous scientific studies tout the benefits to our health when we forgive those who have wronged us. Chronic anger and stress are almost unavoidable consequences of an unwillingness to forgive—and both are toxic to our physical and emotional health.
Just before Christmas last year, I was led to purchase a book for a friend who was bitter about his wife’s betrayal and their subsequent divorce. Although they had been divorced for almost three years, he could not forgive her.
As I browsed through the various books at a Christian bookstore, I asked the owner for suggestions, explaining the reasons for my search. I wanted to find a book for my friend that would help him to begin the journey to freedom and eventual healing.
When the saleswoman made the following statement, I asked her to write it down: “When I forgave, I set a prisoner free. Then I realized the prisoner was me.”
Before I mailed the book to my friend, I wrote those words along with the following scripture from Matthew 6:14 on the inside cover: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Author Catherine Ponder once said, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
We, as followers of Christ, are a forgiven people but the Bible also makes it clear that we are to be forgiving people. Forgiving someone who has wronged us is not easy but it is the only way we can be free to be the person that God intends us to be.
Whom do you need to forgive? Forgiveness is a choice and a gift we give to ourselves.
Carol Round is a former Jay High School teacher who now resides in Claremore, OK. She may be reached at carolaround@yahoo.com.
FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14 (NIV)
As legend goes, a now-famous feud began with a dispute over the ownership of a hog. The feud escalated and lives were lost on both sides.
The battle between the Hatfields and McCoys continued for 12 years until they agreed to disagree. But it wasn’t until June 14, 2003, that descendants of both sides signed a truce though the conflict had ended a century earlier.
Lewis B. Smedes, author and professor, once said: “If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter’s rights to our souls.”
Four months before the last of my Dad’s three brothers succumbed to cancer, I wanted my father to reconcile with him. A family dispute five years earlier had left my Dad bitter and he had refused to talk to my Uncle Joe ever since.
But my uncle was dying. I knew Dad would regret it if he did not make peace with the past. Before my uncle’s death, he and my father spent many hours together talking about their childhood among other things. They never mentioned the rift but my father was grateful for the nudge I gave him to move toward forgiveness.
Numerous scientific studies tout the benefits to our health when we forgive those who have wronged us. Chronic anger and stress are almost unavoidable consequences of an unwillingness to forgive—and both are toxic to our physical and emotional health.
Just before Christmas last year, I was led to purchase a book for a friend who was bitter about his wife’s betrayal and their subsequent divorce. Although they had been divorced for almost three years, he could not forgive her.
As I browsed through the various books at a Christian bookstore, I asked the owner for suggestions, explaining the reasons for my search. I wanted to find a book for my friend that would help him to begin the journey to freedom and eventual healing.
When the saleswoman made the following statement, I asked her to write it down: “When I forgave, I set a prisoner free. Then I realized the prisoner was me.”
Before I mailed the book to my friend, I wrote those words along with the following scripture from Matthew 6:14 on the inside cover: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Author Catherine Ponder once said, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
We, as followers of Christ, are a forgiven people but the Bible also makes it clear that we are to be forgiving people. Forgiving someone who has wronged us is not easy but it is the only way we can be free to be the person that God intends us to be.
Whom do you need to forgive? Forgiveness is a choice and a gift we give to ourselves.
Carol Round is a former Jay High School teacher who now resides in Claremore, OK. She may be reached at carolaround@yahoo.com.
posted by Editor | 1:10 AM
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